Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
