We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
