i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
