I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize