he wants to bone in the snuggie
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize