Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Still dying that you shit outside
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
