No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
