i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
