Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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