So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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