before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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