She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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