We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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