Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
