i just wanna soil my oats bro
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
