Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
