Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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