I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Small penises have feelings too.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
