i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
