i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
