I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
is that a dick in a sweater?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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