After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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