How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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