I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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