i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
