is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
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i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
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I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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