So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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