Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
