She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
