I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
