if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
