I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
