I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize