I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
