someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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