I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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