but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
