she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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