I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?