party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
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I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!