You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
