i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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