is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So here I am, sexting at work.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
