k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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