its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
