I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize