It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
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Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
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His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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