I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Randomize
