Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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