He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
