Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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