We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
