This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize