the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
