If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
