i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
