im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
