I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
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The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
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She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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