So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
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U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
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I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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